Awesome

• I had a very rough weekend emotionally/mentally. Broke down Sunday and cried my eyes out to a friend. Even though they’ve told me that I haven’t made anything weird between us…I constantly worry about messing things up with friends. Especially when I show a very vulnerable side of myself.
• With the money I received from a bad part of my past, I plan on buying a snowboard and gear. I have a trip planned later in February.
• I’m signing up for a belly dancing class.
• I’ve added to my Zumba workouts, weight training (which I was doing before), yoga, working out with my sister and (as previously stated) belly dancing. I’m hoping to finally get rid of/tone up the chubby girl I’ve always been. Plus it’s nice to take a break from everything and just work out.
• Work responsibilities have definitely increased…but so far I’m managing. I’m sort of four people right now. I think the initial consistent news of changes at work definitely made the first few weeks of it overwhelming. But I’m gaining a grasp on things.
• I was told I was super cute by a lot of my gal friends yesterday for an outfit I just threw together randomly. That totally made the judgmental look I got from a lady at a restaurant null ‘n void. I dress very…uniquely? I usually get the ‘wow that’s a weird outfit’ look from the more conservative crowds. Plus, I’m not afraid of all things form fitting. KS…you really need to just relax on the dress code.  ;)

Smile though your heart is aching

Smile even though it’s breaking.

When there are clouds in the sky you’ll get by.

If you smile through your pain and sorrow

Smile and maybe tomorrow

You’ll see the sun come shining through …for you.

Light up your face with gladness,

Hide every trace of sadness.

Although a tear may be ever so near

That’s the time you must keep on trying

Smile, what’s the use of crying.

You’ll find that life is still worthwhile

If you just smile.

Sometimes even when I try to reach out…I get nothing. No help. It’s scary how alone I feel sometimes.